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Rebounding with a broken tandem

Let me set the scene: you’re me. You’re the kind of person who has this polyamory joke as one of her Tinder pictures:

For screen readers or if the image breaks, it’s a picture of a bike with the caption “My bicycle is my primary partner.” It’s funny because I spend more time with my bike between my legs than anyone or anything else.
Heh.

So, anyway, you’re me. You’re on tinder. You match with someone who checks all your boxes: smart, funny, athletic, polyamorous, the works. Things are going well until they pull the classic “we’re better off as friends” line.

Oof. Gut punch.

So, naturally, now you need a rebound. Except, instead of finding a one-night-stand on Tinder, you impulsively buy a tandem bicycle. A broken tandem bicycle. I’m sure there’s some symbolism here about desperate rebounds being broken. I’ll also point out that a tandem bicycle needs a second rider, which is also probably some sort of metaphor about polyamory

Anyway, I patched her up and gave her a bath and now I just need to name her and find someone who will ride her with me. Which I guess will send me back to tinder.

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How (and why) to make a ghost bike (and why I hope I never have to)

ghost bike

ghost bikeI was walking along Massachusetts Avenue (or Mass Ave as the locals call it) when I saw this ghost bike.

A lot of non-cyclists don’t know about ghost bikes, but you’ve almost certainly seen one before. When a cyclist dies on their bike, their cyclist friends will create a ghost bike.

Here’s how:

  1. Recover the dead cyclist’s bike (if it’s recoverable from the accident) or obtain another cheap bike.
  2. Spray paint it white. Everything. The spokes, the gears, the chain, the tires. It’s all gotta be white. This makes the bike unusable, so it probably won’t be stolen.
  3. Chain it to a fence, pole, or some other immovable object at or near the site of the cyclist’s death.
  4. (Optional). Add flowers, candles, etc. to the basket or ground around the ghost bike per your mourning customs.

Ghost bikes serve as a memorial for the victim’s friends and family and a warning to living cyclists of dangerous intersections or stretches of rural roads. 

I never like seeing ghost bikes (someone died!) but I do appreciate their existence. It’s nice to be part of a community that has rituals like this. 

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New blog, who dis?

This isn’t my first blog.

I’ve always loved to write. It’s how I gather my thoughts and express myself creatively. I have a half dozen abandoned or deleted blogs, and another half dozen abandoned or deleted novels. I’ll abandon this one too, someday.

I bought this domain name in October 2016, shortly after my first multiday bike tour and getting my bike wheel tattoo. The name pays homage to this blog post, which calculates the number of miles a cyclist can ride on various foods, including beer, bacon, burritos, and gasoline. Estimates vary based on how hard you ride and what you put in your burrito, but 40-something miles-per-burrito (MPB) is a reasonable expected output.

I think the original intention of this website was to build a business where people could trade goods and services instead of money. Kind of like Thumbtack, but without money, or what Josephine was, but not just for food. For example, I would exchange minor bike repairs for a burrito. Someone else might trade yard work for hemmed pants. It was a very Burning Man sharing economy meets Silicon Valley startup idea I had once.

(Side note: I’ve never been to Burning Man (yet). But I’ll still fix your bike if you buy me a burrito. And yes I’ll even clean the playa dust out of your burner bike.)

I hardly think this blog will focus on bikes, burritos, or burners. I’ll probably talk about all of those things at some point. But I think I just want this blog to be a space where anything I find interesting, anything, gets written about.

No restrictions on topics. No rigid posting schedule. No ulterior motives of making money or building a portfolio. Just authentic blogging.